Are you nobody too?

I’m still not happy about the weight not going down in a week.   It was exactly a week ago that it went below 150 on both scales and now it is not even reliably there.  NS was at 150.2 this morning.  And I should be losing at least a pound a week.

And I don’t really believe I’m not.  I think the lower weight was partly due to dehydration and I think its reasonable that I have put on muscle because I’ve been doing more exercises with weights and my pants are looser, but I’m just not happy about it.

So to cheer myself up,  I played with the BMI calculator.  I was 149.6 this morning on GS.   When I reach 127.7 my BMI will drop from the overweight category into the “normal” category.

So that means I have 21.9 pounds to lose.   To be normal.  (Okay, in terms of weight range – it’s not going to do anything for my personality). 

I can describe my weight as “I need to lose about 20 pounds”.  

It feels strange.   It feels disconnected from me.   It sounds like something a normal person would say.  It sounds like someone whose problem is well within the normal range of problems.   It sounds like someone people wouldn’t turn around and stare at or laugh at or yell comments at when she walked by.  

I feel like I keep looking at it from all angles and turning it over in my hands like some kind of foreign object.  Hey, look – a version of me that needs to lose about 20 pounds.  

Maybe this doesn’t make any sense if you’ve never weighed more than 300 pounds with a BMI of over 60.   

But I don’t really feel like myself anymore.